Mr Tay Cheng Tian, 54, died in a hospice on 4 November. None of his family members was by his bedside when he took his last breath, but he did not die alone. In the last few weeks of his life, a bunch of strangers befriended him and committed to spending time with him till the end. They fulfilled his last wishes and did things such as wheeling him downstairs for smoke breaks.
When Mr Tay started deteriorating rapidly from oesophageal cancer, the volunteers took turns to sit vigil round-the-clock by his bed. One saw him take his last breath at 8.30 am that Saturday.
Assisi Hospice’s No One Dies Alone (NODA) programme is part of a small but growing movement to support dying people who have few or no family members or friends to accompany them in their final hours. Demand for the service is likely to grow as the number of elderly folk who live alone in Singapore surges.
The first NODA programme was started in the United States by a nurse, Ms Sandra Clarke, at the Sacred Heart Medical Centre in Eugene, Oregon, in 2001. A dying patient had asked her during her ward rounds: “Will you stay with me?”
She said she would, after checking on the other patients. When she returned after checking on six other patients, she found him dead. Overcome with guilt and frustration, Ms Clarke started NODA, with hospital employees volunteering their time. It is now a national movement in the US and in countries such as Japan.
Assisi began its NODA programme for its hospice patients in 2014, with volunteers serving four patients. Its team of 40 volunteers has since kept vigil for 41 patients. Dover Park Hospice started its programme earlier, in 2013, but has a smaller team of 12 volunteers who keep vigil about five times a year.
Volunteers need a certain level of emotional maturity and training. They also need to be highly committed as they are usually activated at short notice.
Associate Professor James Low, council member at the Singapore Hospice Council and a senior consultant at Khoo Teck Puat Hospital, said: “To die alone… there is a sense that their death didn’t matter to anyone.”
Patients near death can feel lonely even if they are in a hospital or hospice. In Mr Tay’s case, he preferred to die in the hospice rather than at home. He told The Sunday Times: “Here, I have the company of nurses and volunteers, who have so much love and compassion. That is something money can’t buy.”
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Source: The Straits Times, 10 December 2017