Unlike most newly-weds who look forward to the privacy of their own homes, the Thongs went in the opposite direction when they married in 2007. They rented a three-room flat in Toa Payoh and threw open their doors to complete strangers to live with them for free.
Over the last decade, there has hardly been a time when the couple, who do not have their own children, have not had a teenager or young adult living with them. Most come from abusive and dysfunctional families, and have nowhere to go. Many, ranging in age from 18 to their mid-20s, are too old for institutional care or fostering.
“We are not perfect but we want them to experience what a normal, safe, functional family looks like. And that means they’re free to have whatever we have here,” said Mr Kenneth Thong, 46, who left his director role at a non-profit organisation earlier this year.
He and his wife Adeline, 39, a former part-time external school counsellor, have housed more than 35 young people over the years, with stays ranging from one day to three years.
From a three-room flat, the couple went on to rent a four-room flat and then a five-room flat in Seng-kang to house more people.
In April, they moved into a four-storey terrace house in Seletar, renting it for $5,000 a month.
Money was tight and they almost could not cough up the initial payment of $15,000 – one month’s rent and two months’ deposit.
The young people who come to their doors are usually from broken families and need a roof over their heads. They could be unwed mothers with babies, teenagers living on the streets or those with mental problems. Those who land in institutional care, such as children and young persons’ homes, may find that too regimented, and such an environment may also not be the best fit for youth who are not offenders or who do not have high needs.
Recognising the value of home environments, the Ministry of Social and Family Development (MSF) is continuing its push to place children in foster families instead of institutional homes.
MSF said there are 600 residents in children and young persons’ homes, of whom 15% are aged above 16. There are also community-based crisis shelters funded by MSF for adults and families who face domestic violence.
Said an MSF spokesman: “Ground-up initiatives by the community further complement our support for the vulnerable in society.”
Kenneth was a former life coach for students and both husband and wife have worked with young people. But he said: “We don’t present ourselves as therapists or counsellors but as family and as parents so that they can have healthy role modelling.” What they offer, he said, is normalcy.
Rent, utilities and other expenses come up to $7,000 a month and the couple, who both left their jobs to do this full-time, said they do not have savings. “We live month by month on goodwill donations from friends and we believe God will meet our needs if this work is to continue,” said Mr Thong.
There are many helping hands. A meat supplier to supermarkets sends meat regularly and a group of mothers comes thrice weekly to cook dinner for its denizens. Others donate old furniture or items.
The house has become a refuge not only for young people but for animals too. All their pets – a dog, a quail, a hamster, three cats and four chickens – were rescued.
When Adeline was asked why she bothered caring for other people’s children, including babies, she showed this reporter a message from a teenager who used to live with them.
Student Vincent Moh, 20, sent the text a few hours earlier: “Yo, this is random but whenever I think about my past, I am always so grateful to know you and Ken, who led me to the right path.”
Vincent will complete his ITE education next year and plans to become a physiotherapist, stayed with them on many weekends when his mother, a single parent, was unable to care for him.
Kenneth said they hope to set up a registered society soon to match vulnerable young people with families willing to take them in. There are similar concepts elsewhere. Servants Vancouver is a community in Canada comprising singles, married couples and families with children. They offer space in their homes to those living on the street, struggling with mental illness or drug addiction.
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Source: The Straits Times, 19 August 2018