Building a relationship with someone on the autism spectrum can require more patience and understanding than establishing ties with a neurotypical peer.
Freelance writer Kendra Stanton Lee, whose brother is also on the autism spectrum, asked parents and specialists how families could be better advocates and community members in a neurodiverse world.
PLAN AHEAD AND COMMUNICATE
Ms Mary Piper of Delmont, Pennsylvania, remembers taking her son Franklin, six, who has autism, to a birthday party at an indoor jump park. She said Franklin was more interested in checking out the vending machines than participating in the designated activities.
“The concept of ‘stay with the party’ – stuff we take for granted – is something we need to teach them step by step.”
EXTEND THE INVITES
A 2015 study by the Simons Simplex Collection found that 32% of parents with at least one child on the autism spectrum said other people excluded them from social events and activities.
“I want other parents to understand that our situation is different and that it may be harder for us at times to participate in parent groups, but it’s still important to be included,” Rev Welton-Mitchell says. “Sometimes we’re excluded unintentionally, or for whatever reason, it just sometimes happens.”
Rev Welton-Mitchell is a pastor in Seattle, and has a son A.J. who has autism.
TAKE AN INTEREST
In Ms Piper’s case, her son Franklin has a captive interest in mechanics. “We’ll go to the most beautiful art museum and Franklin will ask the guards about the lift and what kind of alarm system they have.”
She has seen this interest open up new opportunities for social interaction. When there was a fire alarm being inspected at his school, for example, Franklin was summoned. “The principal let Franklin talk to the repairman about it,” she says.
This is friendship building 101 – finding out someone’s interests and engaging him in conversations on those subjects.
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Source: Washington Post, 28 October 2018