Mr Selva Raju Arumugam has a “happy-go-lucky” family who would spend weekends together, as well as with their extended families.
But it all came to an abrupt halt when he was 15.
His mother, who suffered from serious complications of diabetes, had come down with a bad bout of stomach flu and had to be hospitalised. She was on the mend when she suffered a heart attack and died.
She was 46 years old. The teenager’s world came crashing down.
Close to tears at the memory, Mr Arumugam, who is now 27, said: “It was a big shock. I was very close to my mum and her death hit me very hard. It was very hard to cope.
“I also felt very lonely as I was not close to my dad.”
As a student in the Normal (Technical) stream at Unity Secondary School, he found it hard to keep his mind on his studies and was grateful when his teachers gave him extra help and his friends were there for him through his grief.
Their support made him study harder and he topped his school in the N levels, scoring four points for his best three subjects.
He had to learn to cook and manage his finances. He started working part-time as a waiter while studying at the Institute of Technical Education (ITE) College East so he would not be a financial burden to his father.
Three years after his mother’s death, his dad suffered a stroke and had problems with mobility as a result. Mr Arumugam became his caregiver as his sisters had married and moved out by then.
Perhaps because of the stroke, his father also became more forgetful and would get lost while out on his evenings walks.
About a year after the stroke, his father was diagnosed with late stage stomach cancer. He died a few months later at the age of 71.
With his parents gone, he now lives alone.
While sadness punctuated his home life, his education was going from strength to strength. He graduated from ITE with a Higher Nitec in biotechnology and was accepted into Temasek Polytechnic. Next month (May 2018), he graduates with a diploma in biotechnology.
Out of gratitude for the financial aid he received, Mr Arumugam started to volunteer – at first on an ad hoc basis but now regularly – to give back to society. He won two school awards for his community service last year (2018) from Temasek Polytechnic.
While at the ITE, he volunteered to tutor at-risk youth. He also joined Youth Corps Singapore, a national institution that champions youth volunteerism, in 2015, and he now helps to organise activities for youth with disabilities and their caregivers.
“These children are precious to me. I can relate to them as I know what loneliness is like,” he said. “It gives me so much personal satisfaction to see them smile or give me a high five. Words can’t express it.”
Last year (2018), he was also one of 24 recipients of the Harvard Prize Book (Singapore). The prize is given by the Harvard University Association of Alumni in Singapore to altruistic students who have gone the extra mile to show they care, said Mr Titus Yong, chairman of the Harvard Prize Book (Singapore).
Mr Arumugam said the book, Making The Most Of College: Students Speak Their Minds by Harvard University Professor Richard Light, encouraged him to press on with his volunteer efforts.
“I used to be self-centred when I was younger and I never thought of others. But losing my parents and teaching at-risk youth have taught me to think of others. My passion to serve keeps me going. My only regret is that my parents were gone too soon and they never got to see my achievements.”
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Source: The Straits Times, 17 April 2019