NANYANG PROFESSIONAL MBA

From Zero-Sum to Win-Win: Reframing Negotiations

Whether you’re trying to win a well-earned promotion or closing an important deal, you need negotiation skills to advance in the professional world.

Many people think that good negotiators are born, not made. This is not true, says Prof Lum Kit Wye, who teaches negotiation for Nanyang Business School’s Professional MBA (PMBA). She believes that good negotiation skills can be learned and honed.

“We’re all born with an innate ability to negotiate,” Prof Lum begins. “Whatever our innate level is, having a structured framework will help elevate your negotiation skills. So, if you think you are not good, you can be better. If you are good, you can be great. And if you are great, you can be even greater!”

According to Prof Lum, some key concepts set the foundation for a good negotiation. Anyone who wants to develop the negotiator skill set can apply these principles and get results. 

1. Creating value for both sides

A common misconception is that negotiation is a zero-sum game. Prof Lum challenges this perception by using the Harvard interest-based negotiation model in her classes – where negotiation shifts from merely being about the distribution of value to becoming about the creation of value.

“We’re not just here to divide a pie. We first think about how to bake a pie that is as big as possible to share,” Prof Lum explains.

By focusing on value creation, the framework helps PMBA participants move beyond a win-lose mentality in negotiation. From day one of her course, Prof Lum conducts exercises designed to let participants experience an ‘aha’ moment where they realise that negotiation isn’t necessarily zero-sum. Ultimately, the distribution of value must feel fair and therefore legitimate to both parties in the negotiation.

2. Listening to drive better outcomes

The key to deriving the most value for all parties is knowing what the other side wants. Most people enter a negotiation hyper-focused on what they want from the deal, neglecting to consider what the other side wishes to gain.

“If we don’t focus on what the other person wants, we won’t know how to package our proposal in a way that’s attractive to them,” Prof Lum explains. “Finding out what makes a deal attractive to the other party is actually advantageous for us.”

One of the skills necessary for good negotiation is active listening or listening to understand. “Active listening is not just hearing the words, but really understanding what they’re saying. This goes beyond just hearing the words that are used – it includes hearing the emotions underlying the words,” Prof Lum explains.

Listening also means leaving our biases at the door. “We often only hear the words that agree with what we think we already know—everything else we filter out,” Prof Lum continues. “When you do that, you are not getting the correct message.”

Listening also shouldn’t be for the purpose of rebuttal. “When we listen to rebut, we miss the entire message, and we’re not keeping an open mind,” says Prof Lum. The conversation can become counterproductive, devolving into arguments and counterarguments with no real resolution.

Ultimately, listening well helps everyone reach a mutually beneficial arrangement. “The more you can find out about the needs of both parties, the more you’re able to dovetail solutions in a way that maximises gains for both parties,” Prof Lum shares.

3. Seeing things from the other side

It’s not just about listening but also letting the other party feel heard. Nods, short affirmative sounds (mm-hmmm), or paraphrasing what has been said helps reassure the other party that their message is landing. “This builds rapport and trust,” shares Prof Lum. That rapport and trust are key to reaching a resolution where both sides are happy.

It’s common for negotiations to run awry and for tempers to flare. In such cases, Prof Lum advises to remain level-headed and not take things personally. “If both parties are upset, then there’s no voice of reason in the room,” she counsels wisely.

To diffuse the tension, Prof Lum suggests letting the other party vent, then acknowledging their views. “Try to see the world from their perspective,” she advises. “Articulate why they’re emotional, like saying, ‘I understand that this situation is upsetting for you.’ It makes them feel that you do see what they’re going through.”

Acknowledgement gives the other party a sense of being heard and valued. It’s not agreement but recognising the other party’s concerns as legitimate. This shows empathy and helps both sides feel like they’re working towards the same thing. “If the person feels that you are unreasonable and greedy, the tendency is for that person to dig in deeper,” Prof Lum shares. “If they dislike you enough, even if the deal is actually good for them, they may say no to you just because they can’t stand you!”

Putting principles into practice

Being aware of negotiation theory is different from actually putting it into practice. In her classes, Prof Lum relies on role plays to build PMBA participants’ negotiation skills. “Instead of just being able to articulate the concepts, students have the opportunity to actually demonstrate them,” she explains. “I tell my students to immerse themselves into the role play so they can get the most learning out of it.”

Prof Lum’s negotiation classes expose PMBA participants to various scenarios, giving them a feel for how things could play out in real life. Some role plays focus on conflict, where parties come in already very angry with each other. Another negotiation brings in cultural elements. “I also have negotiation role plays that are not two-party but multi-party negotiations. With different scenarios and situations, they get a mix of opportunities to apply what they know theoretically,” Prof Lum shares.

In her over ten years of teaching negotiation, Prof Lum has had some PMBA alumni return with their own success stories. “Former students come back to me and say, ‘I got this job with a really good deal. I think it’s because of the framework that you taught us,’” she shares. Other alumni would talk about dealings with suppliers, and how the discussion evolved from simple price wars to new partnerships and business ventures.

“Through conversations with their negotiation counterparties, they became aware of opportunities for collaboration that would create greater value for both parties,” Prof Lum recounts. “They say it happened because they sat down and asked the counterparty what their challenges were, instead of just focusing the negotiation on price alone. They’ve learned to bake a bigger pie, and I’m glad they’re reaping the benefits.”

About the Nanyang Business School Professional MBA

The Nanyang Professional MBA (PMBA) is a part-time program for mid-career professionals who want to elevate their skills and knowledge to become T-shaped leaders. PMBA students gain skills with real-world relevance through case studies, study trips, hands-on projects, and simulations through classes conducted over alternate weekends. Learn more about the Nanyang PMBA today.