Written by Tan Jing En, Y2 Communication Studies

Do you stop and smell the roses in your journey of life?

I’m pretty poor at that, if I’m being honest. The sheer amount of responsibilities to deal with –
mostly from self-and-societal imposed pressure – to do and achieve more often makes it difficult
to do so. And for the longest time, I find myself wishing how I may experience what it means to
be present and enjoy the journey.

You are probably wondering why I’m talking about roses. Rather fittingly, I joined my TOPS
group as a group mentor to research on the flower trade industry in Kunming, China. So, I set out
with an aspiration to search for some answers before the year draws to an end.

Watching my groups conduct interviews brought back memories of myself in their position last
year as an interviewer in Sapa, Vietnam. Truth be told, walking up to strangers and asking them
to talk is an introvert’s nightmare. Even for an extrovert like myself, I still feel unnerving stress
whenever I need to approach a potential interviewee, knowing that I could be rejected with a
hand wave or a curt reply of “I’ve no time for this”.

We were rejected countless times and received many dirty glances by various storeowners. But
we never gave up. And finally, we struck gold with a great interviewee who shared amazing
insights on the flower industry in Kunming. I doubt I’ll ever forget the satisfied look on my
groupmates’ faces, with an uplifted confidence that if they succeeded this once, they can repeat
this win again.

Kunming Foxes’ First Successful Interview

Granted, life would be so much easier if everyone was perfectly pleasant and willing to have an
interview with us. We could avoid all the negativity, hardships, and pain. But a life with certainty
without complexity would be terribly dull and colourless. There would be nothing to toil for,
nothing to desire for because nothing could ever be wrong.

Every challenge teaches us a little more about ourselves. What we love or hate, our morals and
beliefs, and who we want to be. If everything was all smooth-sailing, there is nothing worth
making a difference in. All the ups and downs shape us to who we want to be, and crafting the
story that truly belongs to you.

Before embarking on this trip, I learnt from my group that through their secondary research, they
found that live-streaming was greatly beneficial to the flower sellers. But on the ground told a
completely different story. Many sellers are unable to sell flowers through live-streaming due to
financial, manpower, and knowledge constraints.

I found this particularly fascinating especially in the context of our own lives. Far too often we
assume that we know what the people around us are going through. We think that everything is
good for them just because they say or look so. Have you ever slowed down and taken a closer
look at them? What are the stories that you are not seeing?

I have been often told by my busy friends that it is only the quality of time that they spend with
their loved ones that matters. I beg to differ. I believe that for any good friendship or relationship
to deepen, it starts with the quantity of time. People take different amounts of time to warm up
and open up to you. And we need to make time to observe and listen to them to really know what
is going on inside them.

Visit to Kunming International Flower Auction Trading Centre

Apart from the research work we had to do, we had a chance to explore Kunming a little. We
visited stunning places like Xishan Mountain, and had lovely experiences including tea
appreciation, visiting museums, and feeding seagulls near the lake. I loved all of these places, but
it was not because they were inherently great. They were beautiful because of the people who
were there with me. Their company made the entire experience all the more wonderful.

Kunming Foxes’ Last Day In Kunming

I always thought the process of stopping and smelling the roses was difficult because of how
distracted I am by the other “stuff” happening in my life. But we forget that we as people are
meant to ‘live’. And it means not only ‘work’, but also ‘play’. And the good news is, you don’t
have to do it alone. In fact, it’s a lot easier when you do it with the people you love. And that
makes the journey you have so much more meaningful.

We don’t always recognise our little wins until we stop and really look at it. It’s far too easy to
discredit the small increments and take it for granted. Sometimes I wish my life could be more,
but I fail to realise that it is already in the process of becoming more. All I have to do is to
continue heading down the path I am on, and trusting the process that everything is meant to
happen for a reason. And most importantly, sharing this journey with the people I love, enjoying
the blossoming flowers with them on the way.