Author: Ethan Pang

I couldn’t breathe.

All I remember is that I went to bed on Sunday night at 10pm but I was jolted up breathless before I knew I had fallen asleep. I couldn’t control my arms and legs. I could feel my heart pounding as if I was sprinting around the stadium. I was sweating profusely. I felt very scared.

My mom later told me I was sent to the hospital at about 2 am. The doctor said I had a panic attack. I don’t know what that is. But I was sure I was going to die.

Thankfully, I did not.

I was given medicine and sent home. Everything seems a blur from there but I knew my parents were relieved. They kept saying, “Don’t worry, you are ok.” I managed several hours of sleep before it was time for School. I had to get to School because the exams started on Monday and I simply cannot miss any of them. I would not be able to get the award this year otherwise.

I really need to do very well for these final Primary 4 exams. I had topped my classes since Primary 1 and this year cannot be an exception. I did feel nervous this past weeks leading up to today but I did not think much of it. I did not know such feelings could make me feel so fearful all of a sudden.

My parents kept telling me I should not worry about my results. In fact, all my relatives told me so after they got to know about my episode.

But how can I not? I really want the award. And I have spent so much time in tuition already. They cannot be wasted. But I don’t want this panic attack again. It is very scary. Can you help me?

(Retold from the angle of 10 year-old CY who is in Primary 4).