Understanding and Overcoming Anxiety

We are all familiar with the experience of anxiety – racing heart, facing worry thoughts, being easily irritated, poor sleep, and finding it difficult to tackle tasks at hand productively. In a fast-paced culture like Singapore’s, high stress levels are inevitable. Thus, it is important that we learn to deal with anxiety, as positive coping can lead us to make more effective decisions that keep us productive and well even during challenging seasons.

 

Is it bad? 

In and of itself, no – anxiety is a normal reaction to high stress levels. In fact, stress brings about a sense of urgency which facilitates more focused attention and increased productivity. The increased demand stretches one’s mental resources and capacity, which helps people to grow in their capabilities. However, when stress and anxiety are not managed well, unhelpful thought patterns and emotions can become a habit. This gives way to prolonged and severe anxiety, which erodes not just our physical health, but also our mental health and productivity.

 

How Can I Stop Anxiety in its Tracks? 

1. Calm Ourselves Down During Moments of Tension

4-2-6 Technique

Anxious breathing is shallow and fast. Deep breathing, on the other hand, is effective in slowing our heart rate, and signals to the brain for it to relax. Breathe in over 4 counts, hold for 2 counts, then exhale over 6 counts. By practicing this technique, inhaling deeply and then exhaling fully counters our anxious breathing. Holding for two counts also helps us to pace our breathing. This can be practiced at any time — even in the midst of a tense project meeting or while preparing for examinations. Repeat this cycle until you feel more calm.

 

Using Guided Imagery 

Guided imagery gives us a short mental break from the stress we are currently facing. Close your eyes and imagine a place– it can be the scene of an ocean or a specific place you have been to– which evoked emotions of calm, peace, and joy. Focus your attention on that place and soak in the peace that comes with it. Remind yourself that your current anxiety and stress are momentary, and that you can bring this current experience of peace with you as you continue your work. You can listen to calming music or a podcast to guide your thoughts. When you are more relaxed and ready, open your eyes.

 

2. Recognize Anxious Thoughts 

It is important to understand that chronic anxiety is fuelled by unhelpful thoughts and behaviours. Thus, the first step to dealing with them is to catch ourselves in unhelpful thought patterns whenever they are activated. Notice the distressing emotions you are facing, and the main thought that is triggering those emotions.

 

Examples of common unhelpful thought patterns are:

A. Catastrophizing: Exaggerating the magnitude and gravity of poor outcomes

    • “If I mess up on this test, I have let everyone down.”

B. Extreme Thinking: The belief that things are either perfect or they are a complete failure.

    • “I did not achieve straight As this semester – I am such a failure.”

C. “Should” Statements: Unwillingness to adapt and adjust ideals according to situations and seasons

    • “People should be present for every project meeting to show that they care about this project.”

D. Negative Thinking: Disqualifying the positive and seeing the worst in every situation

    • “Yes, the event went well today, but I’m still disappointed in myself because of the way I dealt with certain issues. I’d better reflect on my competencies.”

 

Our thoughts have an impact on our behaviours and emotions. For example, when we catastrophize, we face emotions like fear or panic, and this leads to behaviours like poor self-care and workaholism.

 

3. Challenge Anxious Thoughts and Replace Them 

The next step to coping well with anxiety is to reframe those unhelpful thoughts. Rather than pushing those thoughts aside, re-evaluate them and ask yourself:

    • What are some objective facts that support this train of thought?
    • What are some objective facts against this train of thought? Take note of absolute words and statements – they tend to be overgeneralizations that need to be challenged. (Eg. “No one fails on tests like these.”)
    • Are there alternative ways of perceiving my situation? What are some things I can still control and work on within this situation?

 

Managing anxiety well can be liberating.  

While it is a common struggle, anxiety can eat away at our productivity and mental wellness over time. Learning to relax, as well as identifying and replacing unhelpful thoughts are positive habits which can keep us in control of our emotions. Seeing a counsellor would also be most helpful when our anxiety levels affect our ability to function day-to-day. During the sessions, the counsellor would work with you to sort through more deep-seated beliefs and fears so that we can achieve greater life satisfaction and wellness.

I can’t breathe

I couldn’t breathe.

All I remember is that I went to bed on Sunday night at 10pm but I was jolted up breathless before I knew I had fallen asleep. I couldn’t control my arms and legs. I could feel my heart pounding as if I was sprinting around the stadium. I was sweating profusely. I felt very scared.

My mom later told me I was sent to the hospital at about 2 am. The doctor said I had a panic attack. I don’t know what that is. But I was sure I was going to die.

Thankfully, I did not.

I was given medicine and sent home. Everything seems a blur from there but I knew my parents were relieved. They kept saying, “Don’t worry, you are ok.” I managed several hours of sleep before it was time for School. I had to get to School because the exams started on Monday and I simply cannot miss any of them. I would not be able to get the award this year otherwise.

I really need to do very well for these final Primary 4 exams. I had topped my classes since Primary 1 and this year cannot be an exception. I did feel nervous this past weeks leading up to today but I did not think much of it. I did not know such feelings could make me feel so fearful all of a sudden.

My parents kept telling me I should not worry about my results. In fact, all my relatives told me so after they got to know about my episode.

But how can I not? I really want the award. And I have spent so much time in tuition already. They cannot be wasted. But I don’t want this panic attack again. It is very scary. Can you help me?

(Retold from the angle of 10 year-old CY who is in Primary 4).