Day 5

“A leader can’t need the approval of anyone else. A leader has to find that approval from within.”

Steve Rogers, Captain America

Secret Avengers 21.1

 

GREAT. JUST GREAT. For a person who can’t find her way around Singapore even with google maps, a amazing race around Chiang Mai seemed like the worst thing I could do here. No phones, no translator and no road signs. A receipe for disastor.

 

Before the race, the only thought running through my head is” Please, Please I don’t want to be the burden….” I was fervently wishing that I can be better at navigating, better at running and better at mindreading. (So I can tell what the game master, Jason,  was thinking and know where we should go.)

 

But well, the world is not a wish granting factory. So when the game started, I took a major step back and let others take control. I sat there quietly, looking anywhere but that my group mates. I can’t help feeling like a burden to the team.  I did not attempt to locate the positions of anything on the maps my group had.

 

After a while, I decided to focus on the mini task we had to do while the rest of the group was still trying to navigate the map. I mean it beats not contributing anything and simply just leech off the group…. It erased a little bit of the panicky feeling I had too.

 

In the end, we did not manage to achieve much. We had a collective decision to salvage what we have and go back to the hotel early. Throughout the race, I couldn’t help but think that maybe if I was better at this we could have gone a little further, wasted lesser time and gained more points.  

 

When we were back in the hotel, we had a mini sharing session. It was only then when I realised how ridiculous my thoughts were. Admitting your weakness is one thing, but running away from them is different story. Maybe I should have be more proactive and daring. I think I was afraid. Afraid of failing my group, afraid of being the weakest link… I should have attempted. 

 

Captain America is probably afraid too when he is leading the Avengers to save the world from Ultron’s evil plan.

 

From now on, I am going to believe in myself a little more. I am going to believe that to be the best is to just to be my best self.

To end with a more positive note, I can’t have asked for a more supportive and encouraging group 🙂 A little shout-out here to my YAPOWZA CLAN! Here’s to more of our adventures! 🙂