For eight years from Primary 3 to Secondary 4, Nigel Ng did not speak a word to his classmates in school.
After being scolded and punished by his teachers for talking too much or too loudly in class in Primary 2, he began to believe that talking was an unpardonable offence.
So he decided not to speak at all in school, starting from the first day of Primary 3.
“For me, being quiet for a long time was first an illness, then a disorder and finally a disability. After a while, my muteness wasn’t an option anymore,” said Mr Ng, now 24.
He was diagnosed with selective mutism when he was nine.
It is a form of anxiety disorder that meant he was not able to speak with certain people or in certain situations.
Mr Ng, however, has since rediscovered his voice and wrote about his life journey in a book, Silence Is Not Golden, two years ago.
He will be sharing his experiences with young people and their caregivers at Ng Teng Fong General Hospital on 12 October, as part of the events to mark World Mental Health Day.
This month, the young man is starting the first support group here for people with selective mutism. Five children have signed up for the first fortnightly support group session on Oct 28.
In the longer term, he hopes to set up a social enterprise to help those with the condition.
For someone who could not even introduce himself in school, he is making huge strides.
Selective mutism affected not only his speech but also his motor coordination and expressions.
His head used to hang low due to tense muscles and a wish to avoid eye contact, so much so he once wore a strap to lift his neck up.
Despite being silent in school, he spoke to his family members at home, although he would clam up whenever he became anxious.
He attributes his recovery mainly to therapy and a strong support system at home and in secondary school, where he had a group of understanding friends.
However, recovery was not easy.
In his first few days at the Institute of Technical Education (ITE), Mr Ng had to go around asking classmates to write their names down, as he was still largely unable to communicate verbally.
He graduated from ITE in 2015 and has since come a long way.
He is now working as an exhibition assistant and is able to speak normally in most situations.
He enjoys drawing caricatures and drumming in his free time.
When asked if it is strange for people with selective mutism to join a support group as they would have to talk, Mr Ng said those with the condition can talk when they are in their comfort zone.
He said: “When they see other people with the same condition as them and they gradually feel safe and comfortable in the environment, they can share a lot and that will be crucial support.”
“No one can go through life alone, especially people with selective mutism who often face long and difficult journeys.”
Read more here.
Source: The Straits Times, 7 October 2018