Jealousy – Where is your heart?

You shall not covet…anything that is your neighbour’s… You shall not desire your neighbour’s house, his field, or his manservant, or his maidservant, or his ox, or his ass, or anything that is your neighbour’s. (Ex 20:17; Dt 5:21)

For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. (Mt 6:21)

Jealousy/Envy, the last problem/curse in this series on the 7 capital sins that we beings have to face…

CCC 1866 Vices can be classified according to the virtues they oppose, or also be linked to the capital sins which Christian experience has distinguished, following St. John Cassian and St. Gregory the Great. They are called “capital” because they engender other sins, other vices. They are pride, avarice, envy, wrath, lust, gluttony, and sloth or acedia.

Do jealousy and envy refer to the same thing? The main difference between envy and jealousy is that envy is an emotion related to coveting what someone else has or a desire to possess what someone else has, while jealousy is the emotion related to fear that something you have will be taken away by someone else.

* She was envious of her friend who vacationed in exotic places and posted her pictures on Facebook.

* Jane’s harmless flirting with the valet was enough to throw her boyfriend into a fit of jealous rage.

Many people use the words jealousy and envy interchangeably to describe the same emotional response, a general feeling of resentment towards a perceived rival. While these emotions do tend to overlap in some respects, there are some fundamental differences between the two. Jealousy, for example, is almost exclusively a negative emotion, while envy can has some positive effects, such as a renewed interest in self-improvement.

One difference between jealousy and envy involves the relationship between the jealous or envious person and his or her rival. An envious co-worker may develop a personal resentment towards a promoted co-worker because the position represents a higher salary and more responsibility. The true source of this envy is rarely the co-worker himself, but the perceived value of the position. The co-worker may very well deserve the advancement because of his superior skills or education, but an envious person might become angry at himself for not possessing those qualities.

Jealousy, on the other hand, focuses on the rival himself, not necessarily the object or “good” at the center of the conflict. This feeling implies a closer relationship between the jealous person and his rival. Instead of a promotion, the co-worker may start a romantic relationship with the jealous person’s secret office crush. Because this rivalry is personal in nature, the target of the jealous person’s resentment and anger is not necessarily the unattainable romantic partner, but the more attractive rival who now stands between them.

Another difference between jealousy and envy is the depth of emotion. Envy is considered to be one of the 7 deadly sins, but in general, the moral danger lies with becoming covetous of another person’s possessions or status. In one sense, it is at the root of criminal acts such as burglary or fraud. The criminal develops irrational envy about the people he or she perceives as more fortunate in life, so the theft of a victim’s property somehow balances the scales of fairness. In its rawest form, this emotion represents an irrational desire for material satisfaction, not necessarily ill will towards those who have it.

Jealousy, however, is largely focused on the perceived character of the rival himself or herself. It’s not that a more attractive rival managed to “steal” a potential romantic partner, it’s the unfairness that an undeserving rival can use his or her skills to take what rightfully belongs to the jealous person. These feelings often go deeper than those of envy, and can lead to physical confrontations with the rival or even criminal acts of violence.

Feelings of jealousy are almost always negative, since the jealous person may continue to build up resentment towards his or her rival until the situation becomes untenable or volatile. Many cases can only be defused if at least one side of the triangle is taken completely out of the equation. If the object of the jealous person’s romantic interest begins dating a third party, for example, the tension between rivals should lessen considerably. Without a focal point for passionate emotions, they generally lose their fuel.

Envy, on the other hand, can actually have some positive benefits, albeit after the fact. An envious person may be motivated to take the steps necessary to attain what his rival already has. Instead of developing irrational feelings of resentment towards a successful co-worker, for example, an envious person might pursue the same educational track as his rival or take other steps to improve his own chances for a similar promotion. Resolving such feelings does not necessitate the removal of a rival or the “good” that he now possesses, but it could require an attitude adjustment on the part of the envious one.

CCC 2538 The tenth commandment requires that envy be banished from the human heart. When the prophet Nathan wanted to spur King David to repentance, he told him the story about the poor man who had only one ewe lamb that he treated like his own daughter and the rich man who, despite the great number of his flocks, envied the poor man and ended by stealing his lamb. (Cf. 2 Sam 12:1-4). Envy can lead to the worst crimes. (Cf. Gen 4:3-7; 1 Kings 21:1-29). “Through the devil’s envy death entered the world.” (Wis 2:24)

CCC 1852 There are a great many kinds of sin. Scripture provides several lists of them. The Letter to the Galatians contrasts the works of the flesh with the fruit of the Spirit. Now the works of the flesh are plain: fornication, impurity, licentiousness, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, anger, selfishness, dissension, factions, envy, drunkenness, carousing, and the like. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things shall not inherit the Kingdom of God.” (Gal 5:19-21; cf: Rom 1:28-32). 1 Cor 6:9-10; Eph 5:3-5; Col 3:5-8; 1 Tim 1:9-10; 2 Tim 3:2-5)

CCC 1853 … The root of sin is in the heart of man, in his free will, according to the the teaching of the Lord: “For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, fornication, theft, false witness, slander. These are what defile a man.” (Mt 15:19-20). But in the heart also resides charity, the source of the good and pure works, which sin wounds.

CCC 2539 Envy is a capital sin. It refers to the sadness at the sight of another’s goods and the immoderate desire to acquire them for oneself, even unjustly. When it wishes grave harm to a neighbour it is a mortal sin:

St. Augustine saw envy as “the diabolical sin.” “From envy are born hatred, detraction, calumny, joy caused by the misfortune of a neighbour, and displeasure caused by his prosperity.” (quoting St. Gregory the Great)

[Roots & Consequences] CCC 2540 Envy represents a form of sadness and therefore a refusal of charity; the baptized person should struggle against it by exercising good will. Envy often comes from pride, the baptized person should train himself to live in humility:

Would you like to see God glorified by you? Then rejoice in your brother’s progress and you will immediately give glory to God. Because his servant could conquer envy by rejoicing in the merits of others. God will be praised. (St. John Chrysostom)

How to work on reducing envy/jealousy? Focus on God through prayer/contemplation of Him

“I want to see God”

CCC 2548 Desire for true happiness frees man from his immoderate attachment to the goods of this world so that he can find his fulfillment in the vision and beatitude of God. “The promise [of seeing God] surpasses all beatitude… In Scripture, to see is to possess… Whoever sees God has obtained all the goods of which he can conceive.” (Lk 14:33; cf. Mk 8:35)

CCC 2549 It remains for the holy people to struggle, with grace from on high, to obtain the good things God promises. In order to possess and contemplate God, Christ’s faithful mortify their cravings and, with the grace of God, prevail over the seductions of pleasure and power.

CCC 2550 On this way of perfection, the Spirit and the Bride call whoever hears them (Cf. Rev 22:17) to perfect communion with God: There will true glory be, where on one will be praised by mistake or flattery; true honour will not be refused to the worthy, nor granted to the unworthy; likewise, no one unworthy will pretend to be worthy, where only those who are worthy will be admitted. There true peace will reign, where no one will experience opposition either from self or others. God himself will be virtue’s reward; he gives virtue and has promised to give himself as the best and greatest reward that could exist… “I shall be their God and they will be my people…” This is also the meaning of the Apostle’s words: “So that God may be all in all.” God himself will be the goal of our desires; we shall contemplate him without end, love him without surfeit, praise him without weariness. This gift, this state, this act, like eternal life itself, will assuredly be common to all. [St. Augustine, City of God].