Sacrament is (1) a sacred sign (2) instituted by Christ (3) to give grace. Sign means it signifies something greater than itself, sacred because it is instituted by Christ and Christ is really and truly present in the sacrament, grace means the undeserved gift of God Himself.
Why is marriage a sacrament? It is a sign of God’s love, of God’s desire for unity with the church, it is made by God not man-made, and it gives grace (God Himself) to the couple, the family, and to others around them.
Why is marriage important? It is the single most indispensable foundation for happiness in all societies and in most individual lives (Cathechism). It affects the well-being of individuals. Healthy family produce good people and good Christians. Most of today’s societal problem can be traced back to unhealthy marriage and family life. Important also because Acts 18:8 = From the beginning, the core of the Church was often constituted by those who become believers, together with all their household. CCC 1655 = These families who became believers were islands of Christian life in an unbelieving world. To witness to Christ by being countercultural to the culture of death and instant gratification. Just like the SR says, we must give witness to Christ by our marriage.
Most marriages will not succeed without God. There will be tension about who is the boss? God is the boss. Why need to bring God into marriage? Because God Himself is the author and designer of marriage and the Creator of the man’s and the woman’s life and the life of their children. The spouses are only His “procreators”. Sex is a “mystery” because in it we share in God’s power of creation. If we consider sex in any other way, it is not in line with what God wills it to be. Image of the perfect union of the Holy Trinity. Fulton J. Sheen: it takes 3 to get married.
History of marriage: the first command that God gives to man is to be fruitful and multiply (Gen 1:22) What is the future of marriage? Scripture concludes with a vision of the wedding feast of the Lamb (Rev 19:7), Christ the bridegroom and the Church His bride. Marriage now is a foretaste of heavenly joy.
Why God instituted marriage? Because God is love. God created man out of love and calls him to love: the fundamental and innate vocation of every human being, for man is created in the image and likeness of God who is love himself. God’s love is absolute (unconditional, gives everything) and unfailing (eternal). This is why marriage is a gift of one’s whole life and for the whole of one’s life. Spouses say to each other what God says to us in Christ: “I give you my ALL.” Mutual self-giving. Whole of one’s life: indissolubility, permanent, forever, eternal. What therefore God has joined together, man shall not divide (Mt 19:6). The two become one flesh, one living body, which can only be broken by death. Divorce is a kind of suicide: killing that one living body. Therefore discern to choose your partners wisely. Dating is like a seminary for marriage.
Man and woman are equal in value, different in nature, and complementary in purpose. Man is for woman and woman is for man. Each exists for the other not for self. Marriage in a sinful world: threatened by discord, a spirit of domination, jealousy, infidelity, and conflicts that can escalate into hatred and separation. Not because of the nature of marriage but because of sin. Man cannot heal the wounds of sin on his own effort, need God, and that’s another reason God instituted the sacrament of marriage. Advantage of marriage: CCC 1609 = marriage helps to overcome self-absorption, egoism, pursuit of one’s pleasure, and to open oneself to the other, to mutual aid and self-giving. Marriage is a school of saint-making! By sacrificing, tolerating and forgiving your spouse’s faults.
In all sacraments we supply matter and God supply the mystery, the supernatural grace. Eg. Eucharist: we provide bread and wine, God provide transubstantiation. Marriage: we provide the flesh, our bodies; God provides the immortal soul, both the soul of the new “two-become-one” organism and the soul of each child conceived in it.
Effect of sacrament of matrimony: the spouses receive the real presence of Christ, in fact the very life of Christ in our souls. Christ gives strength to love each other with supernatural love: to forgive one another and to bear one another’s burdens, to take up the cross together and follow Him.” The truest test of love is sacrifice. Almost all marriages fail because they fail the test of sacrifice. Sacrifice is usually difficult and irksome. Only love can make it easy; only perfect love can make it a joy.”
Why must be open to having children and reject artificial conception and contraceptives? CCC 1652: By its very nature the institution of marriage and married love is ordered to the procreation and education of the offspring and it is in them that it finds its crowning glory. God has given us the creative power, don’t hide our talents, create more people of God to make heaven more joyful. If we only care about our own salvation and started to prevent people from going to heaven (even future people who are yet to be borne), we desire our little private heaven, which is actually hell.
The Eucharist should be at the heart of a Catholic wedding celebration because it is the consummation (completed) of the “New Covenant”, or marriage between Christ and his Bride, the Church.
Why must profess publicly that we are married? To help us be faithful to our marriage.
In conclusion, there are 4 characteristics of a Catholic marriage: total fullness, total freedom, fruitfulness, faithfulness.
Marriage is a “task”, a vocation, a calling, fully as much as the priesthood is. It will not work if we do not work at it.
