But what if the battle continues and circumstances don’t change? The humble pleas become questions that might not be angry but at least are bold. “Why, God, are you doing this to me? What have I ever done to you?”

Suffering nags us with questions about God in a way that comfort never could.

Feeling Like an “Atheistic Believer”

When dire circumstances continue their assault, you might notice the paradox of being an “atheistic believer.” If you were pushed to decide, you would say that God exists, yet you feel increasingly isolated and alone. The more extreme the suffering, the more intense is the sense of aloneness. If God exists, you think, it certainly doesn’t feel like He does.

At its very roots, life is about God. Whether you shake your fist at Him, consider Him so distant that His existence is irrelevant, or tremble before Him because you feel that you are under His judgment, the reality is this: the basic questions of life and the fundamental issues of the human heart are about God. Life is about knowing Him or avoiding Him. It is about spiritual allegiances. Whom will you trust in the midst of pain? Whom will you worship?

As you consider God, expect to find fallacies in your thinking about yourself and God. In other words, although you may think that you know all you need to know about God—or all you want to know—you don’t. If you resist such an offer, you are probably angry with God, in which case it is all the more reason to consider who He is. He invites angry people to come and be surprised.