on everything I’ve gathered after the trip

On the elephants and the evolution of my feelings for the project

This trip has taught me so much about elephant tourism that I would never have known had I not been on this trip. In fact, with all this information at hand, I feel quite invested in the project and would really like the essay and media deliverable that we create to be used to reach out to an audience beyond USP. After all, since we’ve done so much work and research, it makes sense to translate all our efforts into something useful for the public, to contribute to the elephant tourism situation and hopefully improve it, even if at first it is just a few tourists who find out about our work and heed our advice to go to an elephant park that treats its elephants well.

The moment I realised that I had become more invested in the project than before was when I chanced upon a video clip on Facebook. It was about an African circus elephant, Tyke, which killed her trainer in the midst of a show and escaped the circus, causing injuries to a few others and hysteria on the streets. Watching how she escaped with such aggression, and watching clips of circus animals tortured previously made me imagine how badly she must have been treated and oppressed. I felt like I could empathise with Tyke, and I felt like this sense of empathy intensified after learning of the 86 gunshots that put her down. In any case, these deeper feelings are a reminder of the effort I want to put into this project. It is scary and depressing to imagine being tortured and used as a tool for others’ glee, and to end up being killed by the same people who had trampled on your identity as a wild animal because you tried to escape this cruelty.

Honestly, I had been treating this project simply as an assignment especially for the past few days, but writing these thoughts out has revived some of the earlier motivations I had that can make this project so much more meaningful, and I hope this motivation will be sustained.

(Even so, I feel hypocritical to speak of feeling for these tortured animals, when I know what goes on in the unethical food industry, but have failed to follow through with concrete actions to do my part for the animals. Granted, the ethics of eating meat is largely debatable, but it seems as though the modus operandi of the industry shows our blindness to the sentience of these animals. Despite all of that, I have only had weak attempts to be vegetarian, and unless something drastic strikes my conscience, I might stay omnivorous for some time while just having Meatless Mondays. I suppose this is a classic example of cognitive dissonance.)

On learning more about myself, my flaws and strengths, and learning from others

During the trip, I learnt a lot more about myself, and as I am writing these reflections, I think I am seeing the point of penning my thoughts down. Retrospective thinking seems to help me categorise the thoughts I had that were strewn everywhere in my brain. Ultimately, it allows me to realize what I have learnt, and what more I have to learn from this trip.

I’ve learnt that I am the sort of traveller that wanders and wonders, and most of the time I prefer being on my own so that I can go anywhere I want, any time I want. But there are times in which work needs to be done and I’ve found that I shouldn’t indulge in my selfish desires of wanting to wander off on my own, and instead volunteer to contribute more to the group. I’ve seen qualities I can learn from my group mates and our CMU friend, especially from those who are really giving and would always volunteer to do work, sacrificing their sleep or relaxation time. Some of my group-mates are also really task-oriented and responsible, and have been essential in guiding the group along to gather substantial information that is now helping us lots with our work. Basically, I think I need to be more mindful and focused when I’m on tasks that require group work, especially when a steady stream of distraction is present (which is the case when you’re visiting foreign grounds and trying to take in your new surroundings.)

On the difference in the pace of life, and what I am comfortable with

On one of the days, we went to CMU at night so that we could collect some survey responses from the local students. We met a student who has a Singaporean parent, and has stayed in Singapore most of her childhood before moving to Chiang Mai. It has been nearly a decade since she’s moved, and when we asked where she prefers to be, she said that she enjoys being in Chiang Mai a lot more than in Singapore, because it’s less stressful and the pace of life is way slower. Since then, I’ve heard two other people tell me the same thing – one was an exchange student who’d had a month of holiday in Japan and felt that the Japanese were much friendlier to him than Singaporeans are, and another was a friend from Canada, who’d told me she wouldn’t live here after she completes her studies, because the pace of life is too fast.

Putting aside the possibility that these friends were not unconsciously expressing the stereotype of Singapore being ‘too fast, too stressful and unfriendly’, (it’s easy to adopt social stereotypes unintentionally), and were really speaking from personal experience, why is it that there are so many places out there with slower paces of life and friendlier people? What are the factors that make Singapore’s pace of life so fast, and do we really have to lead a life that moves this fast? Is it our own fault, or is it mostly society’s influence? And lastly, is it because of our shyness that makes us seem unfriendly, or are we really unfriendly? I have yet to answer these questions.

The longest I’ve been overseas is 17 days in Perth, and the slow pace of life there was really enjoyable, but I’ve been told that staying there for an extended period of time may bore one who’s been living in a cosmopolitan city all her life. The fast pace of life in Singapore has yet to have gotten to me, but I have always fantasised about living somewhere with more space, where the distance between you and the next building or person gives you enough space to be mindful of where you are and what you’re thinking. I feel like the proximity of everything in Singapore results in an overstimulation of the senses – it may be exciting to absorb all that culture in, but having constant distraction from looking at the structure of that building, or observing what this person seems to be doing makes it quite hard to relax. Don’t get me wrong; people-watching and admiring sculptures and architecture also appeals to me, but that can be done from a comfortable distance too.

To add on, the denseness of this country is pretty much related to how much light pollution there is in Singapore. I feel like this has made it harder for us to admire the stars, and to imagine the vastness of the universe, or the multiverse. How I wish we had more space and less light pollution to be able to see the magic up there the moment we peer out of our windows. Emerson once said, “If the stars should appear but one night every thousand years, how man would marvel and stare.” – I guess the lack of such a sight in Singapore helped me appreciate that night where we were under a blanket of stars at the Park a lot more.

On pre-trip projections

When I look back on the pre-trip projections I wrote, I see that even though I was not very self-aware (during the trip) in trying to delve deeper into the topic of elephant tourism, the sheer curiosity and interest in the subject was enough to unconsciously help me achieve that mini pre-trip goal. However, I see now that I should have extended my horizons to cover more perspectives too. Even though the sheer exposure to multiple perspectives from the guides, professors and students instigated me to do that, I guess this is another skill I hope to hone so that it comes to me naturally in future.

I also wrote in my pre-trip projections that I wanted to be mindful of the things that I was doing as much as possible, so that I can make the right choices. I realised on the trip, however, that an overwhelming volume of a sensory experience can distract the mind, and it is important to strike a balance between enjoying the experience while also being aware of what you are doing and whether it is in line with your virtues and others’. I suppose it is best to ‘mindfully immerse’ in the experience. I managed to be in the moment most of the time, but I realised an improvement in my mindset towards the end of the trip, and it was when I noticed a change in my perspective on haggling.

At first, it was really exciting to sort of code-switch (making my English a little Thai-flavoured) and hence bargain for items successfully. I was quite focused on these momentary rushes of excitement, and would say that they were the sensory experiences distracting me. But, nearer to the end of the trip, after hearing from a friend of how she would rather settle at a higher price that the shopkeeper was most agreeable to, than haggle more and have the shopkeeper ‘give in’, I decided to bargain less. I wouldn’t say that I was an incessant bargainer in the first place, but I did find a sense of accomplishment in possibly getting a lower price than my friends could. However, I realize that these were just cheap thrills and really, I wouldn’t have minded paying a few more dollars for something, so long as I really needed or found it meaningful to own, and was not just buying it on impulse. Towards the end of the trip, I felt like that was now my mentality, and I’m thankful to the friend who helped ‘activate’ that mindset, and also proud of myself for having exercised mindfulness, and considered the feelings of the other party.

Last thoughts

All in all, I really hope that I may sustain motivation in this project to contribute in making our group efforts cause an impact. Since we have the ability to make at least a small change, and with the ease of using the internet to raise awareness, why not? I also hope that I put all that I’ve learnt into good use, although I know I will need lots of time to meet with obstacles to ultimately improve. But I believe this all begins with mindfulness, and I will make the first step to improve myself, to enrich my life and others’! ☺